A Perfectly Cromulent Post

Back in the 80s, HBO had a series called Not Necessarily the Newswhich featured a pre-The Onion satirical take on the news (they really had it in for Reagan!). While my young mind could appreciate some of the of-the-day news parodies, my favorite segment was always Rich Hall’s “Sniglets”, where he would teach us new vocabulary, or “any word that doesn’t appear in the dictionary, but should”. Some of my favorites:

Brattled (brat’ uld) – adj. The unsettling feeling, at a stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up beside you is making fun of you.

Carperpetuation (kar’ pur pet u a shun) – n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

Exaspirin (eks as’ prin) – n. Any bottle of pain reliever with an impossible-to-remove cotton wad at the top.

Genderplex – n. The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated restroom (e.g. turtles and tortoises).

Musquirt (mus’ kwirt) – n. The water that comes out of the initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.

Sirlines (sir’ lines) – n. The lines on a grilled steak.

Occasionally, my family and I still use some of these words. “Genderplex”, I know for certain, comes up semi-regularly. 

Being a fan of made-up words, I was pleased to recently come across This Word Does Not Exist, a site that uses the GPT-2 machine learning model to create and define new words. The results, in a lot of cases, are surprisingly-good. Some of my favorites I’ve discovered so far:

kingsnoodleI can almost imagine walking the narrow alleyways of the Shuk in Old Jerusalem, looking for the best wares from the various kingsnoodles…

charminiumNot entirely sure what candles and clockworks need a defensive liquid for, but who knows?

Anything for attention!


I propose that this becomes a real word. I know so many lumberboats and the mental image of an actual boat weighed down with lumber, slowly trudging along a river pretty much describes them perfectly.


Can’t decide if getting the sexticket to a boxing match is a good or bad thing…

cuddleroomDo you cuddle with loved ones in a cuddleroom? Or is it so strangers can hold “cuddle parties“?

douchebarI think the Urban Dictionary’s definition(s) of “Douchebar” is more in line with what I had in mind:

Douche Bar Douche Bar


Featured Image By Raphael Schaller

Questions? Comments? Concerns?