I’d Surely Buy You a Cadillac

Wherein I decline to give anyone an American luxury car

Reformatting the Classics

In which I reformat classic art to fit your screen.

Wherein I drag something out way too long.

Wherein I explain that Dallas is not Miami (despite the fact that their states’ governors are in a dead heat in the Shittiest Governor Championship).

Wherein we wonder if a waterbed or an air bed is more-sketchy

And, in case you don’t understand, here’s a quick write-up on the uniqueness of Die Toiletten Deutschlands.

In which my great-grandmother makes an appearance

In which I take the time machine to Port Lavaca, Texas, in the 1970s

I which I attempt to make a punny beer/urology meme.

Wherein I force Waylon Jennings to sing the same song for 100 minutes.